What I’ve been reading lately

Getting the Love you want – Harville Hendrix

I was inspired to read this book after watching an episode of Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday where she interviewed Alanis Morisette. What I loved about this book was that it truly examines relationships before setting out to give advice on how to work on a relationship. I am a “why” person through and through – I love books that take the time to explore the guts of a situation before starting to join the dots and come up with explanations. The book begins with the “Unconscious Partnership” section where the author demystifies how human beings are attracted to each other and how we go about the process of choosing spouses or partners. In the months since I finished this book, I’ve loved reflecting on the reasons my husband and I were attracted to each other and what we were looking for when we entered into a relationship.

Having understood the foundation of how relationships come to be helps readers truly appreciate the ideas in the main section of the book – “The Conscious Partnership”. This section of the book goes through a number of introspective exercises that can help couples find or preserve the trust and mutual understanding that is crucial for a successful relationship. The last section has detailed guidelines on the exercises themselves. This is a must read not just for couples in crises but for those who want to understand their significant others better and build a lasting relationship. It has been months since I read this book and I’ve found the concepts in the book to be accurate and helpful in my marriage.

Favorite Quotes:

“Do you want to be right, or do you want to be in relationship?” Because you can’t always have both. You can’t cuddle up and relax with “being right” after a long day.”

“Romantic Love sticks around long enough to bind two people together. Then it rides off into the sunset.”

“When you and your partner are empathic with each other, you are as emotionally close as two people can be. As the poet Rumi said: “Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing, there is a field. I will meet you there.””

Year of Yes – Shonda Rhimes

Shonda Rhimes is the creator of hit shows like Scandal and Grey’s Anatomy. She’s also a producer on “How to get away with murder” and widely acknowledged as one of TV’s biggest influencers.

Reading this book, the first thing that appealed to me was Shonda’s honesty about what it takes to be a mother with a successful career. It’s not “having it all”. There are trade-offs, compromises, guilt and sometimes even heartaches. When you know you have one of the best jobs in the world it becomes harder to strike an even balance between family priorities and your job. But even the best job can leave a bad taste in your mouth if you burn the candle at both ends. The book starts off at a point in Shonda’s life where her sister pointed out to her that she never says “yes” to the things that matter. Always staying within her comfort zone, never trying all the opportunities available to her as a public figure and essentially, letting fear run her life. This spurred off a “year of yes” – saying yes to the things that terrify her, bringing her face to face with her anxieties and many times, forcing her to re-evaluate her life’s choices.

This isn’t a book about “screw work, your life is more important.” It’s about creating a world for yourself where work and life fuel each other. For an increasing percentage of people, work is where they bring their best selves and a big source of joy and pride. This book reminds you that in order to keep the magic alive you need to revisit your self care, relationships and push your boundaries. It’s a message I fully endorse!

I also wrote about this book for my post on The Sister Project Blog – check it out here!

Favorite Quotes:

“Powerful famous women don’t say out loud that they have help at home, that they have nannies, housekeepers, chefs, assistants, stylists… They don’t say out loud that they have those people at home doing these jobs because they are ashamed. Or maybe a more precise way to say it is that these women have been shamed.”

“I really hate the word diversity. It suggests something…other. As if it is something…special. Or rare. Diversity! As if there’s something unusual about telling stories involving women and people of color and LGBTQ characters on TV.”

“You know what happens on live TV? Janet Jackson’s Super Bowl Boob happens on live TV. Adele Dazeem happens on live TV. President Al Gore happens on live TV”

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? & Why Not Me? – Mindy Kaling

 

Every now and then I tire of the non-fiction books I pick up because I want a break from the learning and permission to skim through the book. I hesitate taking a break from books because that will make it very hard to get back to a reading habit. These books help fill that void perfectly. I loved both of Mindy Kaling’s books. These easy to read, breezy memoirs written by TV’s funniest people seems to be a popular genre lately.

Favorite Quotes:

“I’m the kind of person who would rather get my hopes up really high and watch them get dashed to pieces than wisely keep my expectations at bay and hope they are exceeded. This quality has made me a needy and theatrical friend, but has given me a spectacularly dramatic emotional life.”

“I will leave you with one last piece of advice, which is: If you’ve got it, flaunt it. And if you don’t got it? Flaunt it. ’Cause what are we even doing here if we’re not flaunting it?”

“I would rather have someone read my diary than look at my iPod playlists.”

-Nish=)